My foray into any genuine spiritual experience has come through a slowly evolving yoga practice. I am 38 years old and started practising ten years ago. Initially it was all about relaxation and physical fitness. Four years in, I became friends with a woman who happened to be an instructor. I joined any classes she was teaching and have her to thank for bringing the ideas of intention, presence and awareness to the forefront for me and my personal development. These concepts help me to try to live better with myself and, therefore, others. Here are some thoughts about the role yoga has played in my parenting life.

Yoga and Pregnancy

My yoga practice as a parent began when I was pregnant with my first baby. Apparently barfing and yoga do not go hand-in-hand, so I learned how to practice non-physical yoga. Being pregnant was a yoga practice in and of itself because to do it well, I had to be aware of my limits and abilities and aware of my actions and emotions on my baby.  Books and videos helped me start up the physical practice in my second trimester. Guidance was important at this stage because I needed to learn how to adjust positions to accommodate the new body I was in. My emotional practice helped me in choosing a home birth, because I could look my fears right in the eye and come out the other side with a confidence and trust that I could birth safely.

Yoga and Birthing

Birthing my first baby was made easy because of yoga. With practised Ujjayi breathing I could ride the pain of contractions and remain focussed and confident. I remember my midwife telling me to push at one point during active labour, and I confidently said ‘no, another little bit and I will be ready.’ Baby was crowning and it felt to me that if I just pushed through when she suggested, I was going to tear. I was dancing with baby and only I could know when to do-si-do. The awareness of my body I had learned through yoga (to push myself to the edge of my physical ability, just before hurting myself) allowed me to understand where baby was and what was needed from me to get her out. I was good at going inward to find my strength and disciplined to rest between contractions, even before I was tired.

My second baby came a lot faster and with much more intensity, and I wonder if it was because my yoga practice was much less integrated in my life as a new mom. Breathing during active labour came more in the form of deep pursed lips and bulging eyes as my girlfriend stared me through the tough contractions… but I digress. Although I had to work harder to find my breath, it was still a useful tool. More importantly, when I was finding the birth difficult, I had a knowing voice inside me that reminded me to surrender to the pain and to live in the moment of each step that was necessary to bring baby to us. Thinking I couldn’t possibly make it to the end was of no use to any of us. Although it was a tougher birth, yoga allowed me to birth at home and without drugs a second time.

Yoga and Parenting

As a parent, it has become increasingly clear to me that I can only be of quality service to my family if I am loving myself. Yoga has been the only solution to my woes and gives me a place to go when I need help. So here I am with a two and four year old, trying to integrate a physical yoga practice back into my life. Not only do I suffer some body image issues that will be helped, I miss the time on my mat I use to meditate and get myself grounded emotionally. When things are spinning, I like to spin them down out of my head, through my body and down into the ground. My husband and I will pull out our mats and do some poses with the kids – they love it and I hope to find classes for families to attend soon. But of course, doing it with the kids does not allow me focus to set my intentions, and then move through a series of postures that help me to integrate the intentions. As with anything I want to do these days, I need to schedule it.

Unconditional love of our kids is touted in attachment parenting circles. Helping our kids work through their problems, requires us to be able to sit their with them through the tough stuff. We’ve been known to lean on bribing and incentives to encourage movement through unwanted behaviour – ‘treats’ are motivators in our family. I’ve learned though that this is just a temporary distraction and of now use to them in learning to work through things. So now that I’m loving myself, I’m figuring out how to guide my kids to love themselves and life. Wanting to be a good role model for them, yoga is giving me tools and knowledge to guide:

Awareness – I want to be able to demonstrate to my children how to find awareness on all levels: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Yoga is the only practice that I know integrates all of these well, making if very efficient.
Intention Setting – I want to be able to teach my children how to identify meaningful goals for themselves.
Finding Presence – My children teach this to me every day. I want them to continue to appreciate what they are getting out of every moment, for the rest of their lives. 

Root Concept

Do any of the words or phrases – presence, awareness, surrender, let it go, pick your battles, blessing or intention – mean anything to you? If so, then I contend you are living a happier life, and one that already includes yogic practices.

Yesterday, I ran into one of the many instructors I have had over the years and she asked how my yoga practice was going. It is so easy for me to bemoan how little I get on my mat. So I was happy that my answer was a simple sweep of my hand towards my laughing children. She nodded with a knowing smile and no more was said.

Related Resources

Yoga for Pregnancy by Sandra Jordan

Aqua Yoga for Pregnancy – I really learned to care for myself and connect with baby in the aqua yoga class I did while pregnant. 

This one looks good for sharing yoga with children – My Daddy is a Pretzel by Baaron Baptiste

Teachings about Presence – The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Teachings about Awareness - Mother’s Breath: A Definitive Guide to Yoga Breathing, Sound and Awareness Practices During Pregnancy, Birth, Post-natal Recovery and Mothering by Uma Dinsmore-Tuli. 

Written By: Nicole LeBlanc Charlwood