Childhood development experts used to believe that if we taught our kids to have good self-esteem, they would grow up to be more self-confident and resilient.  The problem with that is that boosting self esteem means that you are actually teaching them to compare themself to others, often in a competitive way.  Competition in children is widely discouraged in many leading alternative school systems such as Waldorf and Montessori.  Competitive behaviour and even competitive sports among young children actually can harm self-esteem and makes having compassion or empathy for others more difficult.  When a child tries to be a “winner”, there are also “losers”, and having a child feel that they have “lost” is extremely damaging. Where self-compassion is a way of relating to your self …

When we first had our kids, we knew we had to toss our TV.  It’s pretty common knowledge that television and videos aren’t exactly positive influences on early child development.  We have all heard the rhetoric about television overloading young children’s brains with too many flashing scenes, and stimuli, not to mention bad language and violence.  However, until only recently have we been able to make a direct correlation with our 5 year old watching videos, and then having night terrors.  The only case we will allow child appropriate vides generally is when she is sick, and unable or willing to do anything else (after exhausting games, crafts, book reading etc).  We also carefully prescreen and watch videos with them where possible, only allowing very …

Parents and mom’s especially are naturally programmed to hate crying.  It makes our hearts race, literally, and is really hard to sit and listen to without doing anything, especially when we are tired and worn out from our day.  Getting kids to sleep is often the “witching hour” for many families, where the children are also worn out, and need the cartharsis of a good cry to expend that last remaining energy and prepare for sleep.  Although we’d love to avoid our kids crying at all, it’s actually a healthy, natural release for them and a form of communication of their feelings.  Remember, kids aren’t born talkers, they are born cryers.  And crying for kids is communicating.
Attachment Parenting experts have always said that crying is …

Getting your child to leave a fun activity can be difficult.  Whether it’s at the pool or playground or if they’ve just met a new friend, kids approach play full-on.  Getting them ready to go, especially if it is something that they are entirely engrossed in, can be hard.  But approaching it with their needs in mind first, vs yours, can allow them to leave in good spirits.  Leaving can even be transformed into a fun activity that they will get excited about.
1. Speak In Their Language
The number one way I hear parents at a playground try to get their kids to leave is with a warning like “OK, Sarah, 5 more minutes and then we are leaving!”.  If your child is under age 5 …

I was at a Waldorf  School curriculum presentation last night. They place a lot of attention on teaching according to a child’s developmental stage. There is good scientific evidence supporting the idea that during the first seven years of life, children are wired to survive and make choices based on imitation of those around them. Hello mirror, there you are…. again.
It is a tough job being transparent to the all seeing of a child. What this means for me is working on walking the talk with the kids. Pausing and looking more at what I do, and the genuine affect it has on my children. It is scary the power we have in molding these little people.
My dear friend, and date for the Waldorf night, …