In our society, there is generally a high value placed on being competitive not only at home, but in the workplace, sports and even within relationships. Competition is said to “build character” and “achieve excellence” and overcome laziness – it is a very normal way to demonstrate our success as humans.  Competitive sports are thought to be great for “team building” and working together towards a goal. Trophies and prizes are handed out regularly to children at sporting events, or even at school. I grew up playing sports and believe the physical activity is of great benefit – as an average athlete, I was master of none. As parents we read some Waldorf findings about children being introduced to sport too early because: 1) they …

Parents in the Kootenays should be grateful to know that support workers in our communities are being exposed to research and ahead-of-the-curve perspectives on caring for and raising children. Success By Six, Selkirk College, The Family Place, School District 8 and others sponsored “Love Grows Brains”. My attachment-parent heart was aflutter when our daughter’s pre-school caregiver Laura brought this conference to our attention. Dr. Gabor Maté was going to be speaking. We couldn’t wait!
At the lectures, I and many others were like giddy school kids in the presence of a rock star. So when he walks in, wearing all black, looking tired and disheveled, I thought, great and he’s human too. Here is a smattering of what stood out for me.
Friday May 8, 2009 – …

My daughter is three-and-a-half and going to a certified home-based childcare provider with six other kids, twice a week. We’re early for a change, dropping her off at ’school’ today. Our early arrival afforded me one of those rare moments to pick the brain of a woman who is knowledgable and thoughtful about children. I respect her opinions and manners a lot and am so grateful she is in our lives.
So one of my daughter’s closer friends arrives and wants to strip down to his t-shirt immediately. Then I add, “She would strip down naked if given the chance.” Then I think to myself, ‘If left hanging, this could be awkward.’ Then my daughter’s caregiver says, “They have amazing metabolisms those little guys.” That made me …

I like the idea that I am just a small blip on the evolutionary path of the human race. I don’t have to figure out our ever-changing world, and my place in it to know what to do as a parent. If change is inevitable, I see my job in the human continuum as helping to ensure we are shifting or evolving in a positive direction. The challenge is to identify the difference between evolved change, and change for the sake of itself.
Our children have the ability to live more fulfilling lives than simply being an animal of the stock-market food chain. But I often feel at a crossroad when faced with big parenting decisions. Parents that have the ability to marry the good of …

If you use time-outs as a punishment technique for your child’s bad behavior, then you are not alone. It is a highly popularized “convenience parenting” technique, and appears to work well in the short term. If you watch any American TV, then you’ll see this concept promoted by “SuperNanny” or “Jon and Kate Plus 8″. The reality is that using time-outs can be harmful not only to you and your child’s relationship, but also to their personal development, self-esteem, and their ability to generally think for themselves. It separates the behaviour from the moment, treats only the symptoms and not the root cause, and puts your relationship in the back seat. Leading child development psychologists agree that the last thing you want to do is …