Many parents preach about the many benefits of sports for young children. Emotionally, they have been thought to build confidence, leadership and foster cooperation. Physically, they are heralded as promoting coordination, motor skills and muscle/heart health. Parents often believe that “in today’s competitive environment” sports help prepare us for this “dog eat dog” world.
Often, the reality is that people are more likely to be competing with themselves rather than others.  Competition in young children can actually encourage them to become selfish, narcissistic and inwardly-focussed rather than have compassion or empathy for others.  Many parents think that the benefits to self-esteem are reason enough for their kids to attempt to excel in a sport that suits their physical abilities the best.

Childhood development experts used to believe that if we taught our kids to have good self-esteem, they would grow up to be more self-confident and resilient.  The problem with that is that boosting self esteem means that you are actually teaching them to compare themself to others, often in a competitive way.  Competition in children is widely discouraged in many leading alternative school systems such as Waldorf and Montessori.  Competitive behaviour and even competitive sports among young children actually can harm self-esteem and makes having compassion or empathy for others more difficult.  When a child tries to be a “winner”, there are also “losers”, and having a child feel that they have “lost” is extremely damaging. Where self-compassion is a way of relating to your self …

When we first had our kids, we knew we had to toss our TV.  It’s pretty common knowledge that television and videos aren’t exactly positive influences on early child development.  We have all heard the rhetoric about television overloading young children’s brains with too many flashing scenes, and stimuli, not to mention bad language and violence.  However, until only recently have we been able to make a direct correlation with our 5 year old watching videos, and then having night terrors.  The only case we will allow child appropriate vides generally is when she is sick, and unable or willing to do anything else (after exhausting games, crafts, book reading etc).  We also carefully prescreen and watch videos with them where possible, only allowing very …

Parents and mom’s especially are naturally programmed to hate crying.  It makes our hearts race, literally, and is really hard to sit and listen to without doing anything, especially when we are tired and worn out from our day.  Getting kids to sleep is often the “witching hour” for many families, where the children are also worn out, and need the cartharsis of a good cry to expend that last remaining energy and prepare for sleep.  Although we’d love to avoid our kids crying at all, it’s actually a healthy, natural release for them and a form of communication of their feelings.  Remember, kids aren’t born talkers, they are born cryers.  And crying for kids is communicating.
Attachment Parenting experts have always said that crying is …

Getting your child to leave a fun activity can be difficult.  Whether it’s at the pool or playground or if they’ve just met a new friend, kids approach play full-on.  Getting them ready to go, especially if it is something that they are entirely engrossed in, can be hard.  But approaching it with their needs in mind first, vs yours, can allow them to leave in good spirits.  Leaving can even be transformed into a fun activity that they will get excited about.
1. Speak In Their Language
The number one way I hear parents at a playground try to get their kids to leave is with a warning like “OK, Sarah, 5 more minutes and then we are leaving!”.  If your child is under age 5 …